I Can Respect Your Right to Believe In

 

the Easter Bunny, but that doesn’t make him real.

I know people who believe in “the power of intention” or “the secret” or whatever the latest “I can control the uncontrollable” pop phrase is these days.

To put it very simply, control is an illusion – always. 
 
That scares people.

Apparently we don’t know enough to know that this is the only safety. We cannot know all that is needed to have control. It is actually best for us not to have control. We could not do that job. We can’t even calm our minds for 5 minutes, much less keep up with every heartbeat, breath and organ function in our own bodies, let alone other people, institutions, situations or the world.
 
To explain in detail, you will find that for every time someone made an attempt to control some person or situation where they got what they thought they wanted, you can find at least as many times that attempt did not work, usually *more* times that it did not work.
 
These failures to control get explained away with various things from “you didn’t hold your mouth right” to ” someone else’s control was more powerful” to “you had to do it on Tuesday in a blue dress” or “Jesus did not will it,” etc.  The worst one is “oh, for that you have to pay me $1000 for the Advanced Control the World Workshop… ”
 
Reality is much simpler than all of these inadequate explanations: we have no control. There is no “power of intent,” and “the secret” is a lie. There is no secret.
 
That may sound like bad news if someone fears something.
 
But it’s actually good news.
 
We don’t need control.

What we *have* is something far more beautiful, and that “something more beautiful” is what I teach through The Work, The Sedona Method, Quantum Wealth, IAM Meditations, etc.
 
I give people an experience of the beauty & mystery, so that gradually, we lose the lie that there is anything we can (or need to) control.
 
It is clear in the Sedona Method’s simple question “Is this about wanting safety, control or approval?”  That is The Sedona Method, or the crux of it.
 
The next step is to release wanting.
 
Only through releasing wanting can we actually have.
 
It seems paradoxical when we are stuck in all that wanting, wanting, wanting.
 
When we are wanting, we are not having.
 
That sounds obvious, but that is a large part of what anything that we try to follow that imagines we can have control is teaching. It’s teaching wanting, not having.
 
It’s the letting go that contains the “magic.”
 
That’s why I say that:

“Peace in our minds and in our lives is a cause-effect relationship.”
 
We cannot control anything, not even our minds, but if we investigate and observe, we find the peace that is already there. 
 
Love, Ann

Truth/Lie, Pain/Pleasure, Works/Fails

I read something in Steven’s blog (http://www.sashen.com/blog) where he said there was only one thing he was interested in. I wondered what that was, so I asked. He says he is interested in how systems work. I asked if that includes things like his body and he said that was one of his favorite systems to learn about. He’s taken up sprinting and has a couple of meets coming up. It seems like he’s trying to see what he can do with that body-system-thingy.

Hmm. “How systems work” didn’t sound like anything I was interested in, but I tend to be interested in things he writes and says, so what is the overlap?

I’m sure that “how systems work” includes how minds work. Just look at the reading list at http://www.quantumwealth.com/resources.

Of course, I was wondering because I’ve always said there was only one thing I was interested in. But it has changed. Well, what I’m interested in didn’t really change, but how I think about it has definitely changed.

I used to say that spirituality was the only thing that I was interested in.

Nowadays, I can’t find a “spirit” to have a “ual” much less an “ality!”

Now what? I still have this stuff I do and stuff I don’t do.  🙂  

In fact, you may recall that questioning that has led me to some very interesting insights.

For example: 

I’m a person who is spiritual. Is that true?

or anything beginning with:

I need . . .

or

I want . . .

Is that true?

Anyway, there are a couple of other people who seem to have, if not just one interest, at least one umbrella interest that covers what I know of what they do. 

I’ve found myself very interested in what they do, so maybe there is something similar there. I’m curious. Maybe the one thing I am interested in is learning, but there are a lot of things I could care less about learning – how to fix my car, for example. I’m happy to pay someone else to do that! So, learning doesn’t really cover what it is that interests me, but it is part of it.

If I’m reading them right, it seems to boil down to:

Katie – Truth/Lie, which she seems to equate with Pleasure/Pain.

What she actually says is “If it hurts, you’re lying.”

Steven – Works/Fails

This is my way of expressing what Steven said as a duality about he is only interested in “how things work.”  Works/Fails is not what he said, but my interpretation of what he said. I think this may be important because saying you are interested in how things work could  be something that isn’t exactly a duality, but more beyond the idea of works/doesn’t work. 

(Bear with me, I write to think these things through.)

But, let’s start with Katie. She says that she is “someone who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn’t.”  The Work of Byron Katie is based largely on finding out what is true and when we are lying to ourselves.

Question 1 is “Is that true?”

Question 2 is “Can you absolutely know that is true?”

Question 3 explores what happens when we believe the thought, “How do you react when you believe that thought?” Most of the time, it seems like the reactions are things I would describe as painful or undesirable.

Question 4 is “Who would you be without that thought? or that story?”  and most of the time, I find things like peace and other pleasurable feelings, experiences and situations.

Then we Turn It Around, another important thing about checking for truth:  check both sides, all sides, all possibilities. 99 times out of 10 (not a typo) I find that the Turn Arounds are at least as true as the original thought. Sometimes they are simply Someone Else’s Business, not something I can know.

Okay, that’s one person’s take on things. 

Steven’s interest in “how systems work,” sounds a bit more complex – a bit trickier.

The minute he said it, I could see how that fit. I love listening to him explain how things work once he has them figured out. On the other hand, sometimes I do tune out. I’m not interested in how everything works, just some things.

For the title of this blog, and for a little Re-Pairing the Universe (see Shampoo Methods on the right or Steven’s IAM Meditation on it) I rephrased what Steven said as works/fails. It’s often when something doesn’t seem to work, at least not the way I thought it would, that I start noticing it at all. We’re all that way. We can’t notice everything all the time, but when something isn’t working, we notice.

At the same time, as I think about it, it’s pretty clear that being interested in “how systems work” is quite different from just focusing on works/fails. That pairing is great for Re-Pairing, but the interest is beyond that. It’s quite subtle. And seems like it could be fairly potent – analogous to a quantum leap, even, which is to say that small difference can result in big differences. It’s one thing to be interested in a process and how it works, quite another to focus on whether it is “working” or “not.”

I wonder if the one thing I’m interested in is “how people work?”

No. That’s not it. I can see how a lot of people “work” and I can’t do anything much about how other people work.

Maybe it’s how I work? That’s pretty self-centered, but it’s honest. I can’t really know how anyone else works, exactly, except that we’re all pretty similar, as I discussed in a recent post.

I do tend to take whatever someone is saying and immediately check how that would be for me or how that would work for me, or I instantly think it wouldn’t be the same for me or wouldn’t work for me.

Hmm . . . people, communication, teaching, learning, words, all of these things interest me. I am certainly interested in truth. This morning while I was first thinking about this, before it became a blog, I was wondering if it’s truth I’m really interested in. I am very interested in truth. Genuine people, stories that give me an “aha,” things like that. It’s the “aha’s” combined with people that is part of what led me to say I was only interested in spiritual things, and then, that really, everything is spiritual. But I’m not really interested in everything. What is it?  

I’m open for comments here. 

I’m still wondering what it is that interests me. I’m looking for a little clarity here.

Shampoo Series – Kabbalistic Marriage?

Good morning,

Jason Shulman, in Kabbalistic Healing, writes of the work of transformation from the perspective of briatic consciousness:

We need to think about this. We need to be brave so that we can go through to experience this God-given state of being that allows us to do the work of true transformation for ourselves and others, now seen for the first time as separate and not-separate simultaneously. We need to be able to invite Yichida, the unique, Intimate One, into our hearts and be fillwed with the glow of the undivided consciousness that God gave us to have and hold, married to it with our bodies and minds.

So began my morning.

Wolf, the man to whom I feel so married, whom I married in a labyrinth in October, and have been seeing ever since, has been incommunicado since Tuesday night. Friends and relatives are all worried about me, concerned, asking if I’m okay.

Good grief, Charlie Brown. I’m fine!

When I told Wolf, beloved that he is, that I would feel married to him even if he was in India with a harem, I meant it. This includes feeling married to him when he has not been in touch by phone, email or in person for 3 days. It didn’t suddenly change.

Shulman writes, also:

When you have a relationship with a husband or wife or partner, and both of you are completely devoted to this awareness, this holy work, then you are going to watch carefully the hologram of that relationship, and you will find that everything you need to know is there.

Yes!  So it is.

These are, in Katie’s terms, the Turn Arounds.

This is a link to Steven’s detailed instructions for Turn Arounds:

https://annojohnson.wordpress.com/turn-arounds-a-how-to-from-steven-sashen/

Here are some thoughts I have had about Wolf:

Wolf is distant.  Turn it around?  I am distant!  Well, duh.

Wolf is not speaking to me. Turn it around? I am not speaking to me.

   In what ways am I failing to communicate with myself?

Is there another turn around? (Of course, there are always several.)

I am not speaking to Wolf. 

Boy, did I find that one. At the time he hung up on me, I was not really speaking to him, I was upset and more speaking at him. 

Other stories I have been telling myself are even more interesting, just wait –

Wolf is having an identity crisis. I overwhelmed him with the Quantum Wealth worksheet on Sunday. I am a catalyst for him. Wolf could be dead or in a coma. He could be having a death and rebirth experience.

Turn Arounds include, but are most certainly not limited to:

I am having an identity crisis. I overwhelmed myself with the Quantum Wealth worksheet on Sunday. He is a catalyst for me. I could be dead or in a coma. I could be having a death and rebirth experience.

I have been up since very early this morning feeling into what these Turn Arounds mean for me. What is this situation showing me about myself? Where am I shut down or failing to communicate? Where do I think something is “too much for me?”

Death and rebirth are old friends. Is there anything to be afraid of? Well, no, and sometimes I don’t know that. If I have the thought Wolf is afraid of me, afraid of our deep connectedness and intimacy, what do I find in that Turn Around? I am afraid of Wolf, afraid of our deep connectedness and intimacy.

Well . . . duh.

I am afraid of me (Who else is there?) I am afraid of my deep connectedness and intimacy (with myself, with God).

I can find all of that.

I know Wolf and I have affected each other deeply. He is a catalyst for me, at least as much as I am for him. In sharing David Deida, A Course in Miracles, Quantum Wealth, The Work of Byron Katie, IAM Meditations, all of the things I discuss in this blog, I am re-learning it myself, re-membering it, bringing it more deeply into my awareness as I “teach best what I most need to learn.” (Sondra Ray and others)

God, I love Jason Shulman! I am blissed out after reading only a few pages of that book again.

I’ve never met the man, only his book and one of his students, who is my teacher and friend, Steven Sashen, and I feel so At One when I read Kabbalistic Healing. He says in the beginning that his book is a transmission, meant to be read over and over. God willing, I may write like that some day.

I feel deeply connected, married, to myself, and yes, to Wolf, and the world we share – even when we are not in physical contact.

I often repeat to him one of the central ideas of his Thelemic pagan practice: Do what Thou wilt is the whole of the Law.

I mean it, and so does he.

I suspect he knows that I am fine and either he will or he won’t get in touch.

Love, Ann

Peace in our minds and in our lives is a cause-effect relationship.

A Home, A Job, A Dream – Trauma and Healing and Gratitude

Today, I could write about 5 blogs.

If you followed a Tag and didn’t find what you were looking for, please write a comment, so I know what you were looking for when you got here.

I woke up about 5 am, maybe earlier. I got out of bed about 5:30 am. This is beginning to be a lot of 5’s – a lot of change, the numerologist in me says.

One thing about living with cats is that you often remember your dreams. Why? The cat wakes you up in the middle of them. That’s why. Maybe it is  feature, not a bug.

Because there is so much, I’m will tell you what I’m going to tell you, tell you and then tell you what I told you. It’s an old formula for writing and speaking that can be very useful. While I may be no good at planning or cleaning, I am phenomenal at organizing. It helps me feel safe, so I got really good at it.

Several things play a part in today’s blog.

I’m going to tell you about home: my childhood home, the home I am working in for a temp job and the home I dream to live and work in.

I’m going to tell you about jobs. My first job was working for my father, beginning when I was about 12. This week, and maybe next, I am working in a house, donated to a mental health center and staffed by psychiatrists, counselors, nurses with office support staff to manage all the paperwork. Then there is my dream job.

I’m going to tell you my dreams, both waking and sleeping dreams. 

This is what an astrologer would call a Chiron story, a story of a wounded healer. Chiron is an asteroid only recently included in astrology.  Chiron is one of the centaurs, half human, half horse, just like my Sun, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Midheaven, which are all in Sagittarius – the sign of the centaur. You know the picture. We carry a bow and arrow and are known both for flinging them wildly and for hitting distant targets. I guess Centaurs have very good eyes. We see deep into people and situations. Other people call us psychic, but really, it’s just about looking rather than looking away. If you want to know more about Chiron and centaurs, check Wikipedia or read Eric Francis at www.planetwaves.net.

Back to the story . . .  

Let’s start with the dreams the cat helped me to remember this morning.

Last night before I went to sleep, I read the first 3 chapters of Peter A. Levine’s book, Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body. I’ve known about Peter’s work for about 7 years. Some of the women I interned with during my master’s program were studying his work at a different school than mine. It sounded good to me, and I bought a copy of his book, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. I know I read some of it. Somewhere during the past 4 years of moving from home to home, I gave it away unfinished. Every now and then, I think I’ll try again.

The first dream the cat helped me to remember is, of course, not completely clear. I remember that someone wanted me to go out with him. It seemed like it was Michael, a former friend’s ex-husband. Okay, I remember thinking about him  yesterday. That makes some sense. I also remember being in an office building. It was kind of vacant and the time was early evening, I think. I was meeting my former roommate or at least he was there. Again, I emailed with him yesterday because he’s bringing me a bill of sale so I can register the car he so generously gave me. The last part of the dream, I was asking a chiropractor, actually, he’s the husband of a chiropractor I saw for many years. He rarely practices, but he is trained. I was asking him if I could pay his lowest price for a single adjustment. Single adjustments usually cost much more. He is a Network Chiropractor. I see a Flow Chiropractor now. But clearly the dream was about men, support and healing.

The second dream the cat helped me remember was about my childhood home. I was driving by and realized that the original red brick was back (some insensitive boob has actually painted the rich red brick, and it is now a creamy yellow – yuck). There were bushes sitting in pots ready to be planted. They were ligustrum, gardenia and something I used to call a bee bush, no idea what it really is, but the bees liked the white flowers. The old gardenias were dried and frazzled, but still alive and someone had removed them and placed them in pots. I suppose the nursery planned to bring them back to life.

Mema, my maternal grandmother, was there. She said that Mother still had the house and was refurbishing it. In the dream, I wondered what the rent would be and wondered about living there. I wondered if I could create my intentional healing community there.

I read both these dreams as stories of healing, healing trauma and sexual abuse, which is what this blog is mostly all about.

From my reading last night, here is a list from Peter Levine’s Healing Trauma.

Oh, first, let me say what trauma is.

On page 8, Levine says that after 30 years, it is still a challenge for him to define trauma. He says, “What I do know is that we become traumatized when our ability to respond to a perceived threat is in some way overwhelmed. This inability to adequately respond can impact us in obvious ways, as well as ways that are subtle.”

On page 20, Levine says, “The symptoms of trauma can be stable, that is, ever-present. They can also be unstable, meaning that they can come and go and be triggered by stress. Or they can remain hidden for decades and suddenly surface. Usually, symptoms do not occur individually, but come in groups. They often grow increasingly complex over time, becoming less and less connected with the original trauma experience.”

There are a lot of good lists in Levine’s book. It’s short and comes with a CD of guided exercises for re-visiting trauma and healing the body memories and associated symptoms. 

So, back to the lists I mentioned. You’ll find a list of “Obvious Causes of Trauma” and “Less Obvious Causes of Trauma” on pages 14 and 15. Levine suggests we pay attention to our bodies as we read these and notice any uneasiness or discomfort. I’ll let you get the book and do that.

He categorizes symptoms this way:

1. Hyperarousal
2. Constriction
3. Dissociation and denial
4. Feelings of helplessness, immobility and freezing

Now, here’s that list found on pages 18 – 20:

Symptoms: A Lengthy List 

• Hypervigilence (being “on guard” at all times)
• Intrusive imagery or flashbacks
• Extreme sensitivity to light and sound
• Hyperactivity
• Exaggerated emotional and startle responses
• Nightmares and night terrors
• Abrupt mood swings (rage reactions or temper tantrums, frequent anger, or crying)
• Shame and lack of self-worth
• Reduced ability to deal with stress (easily and frequently stressed out)
• Difficulty sleeping

Then he says some symptoms “can show up later, even years later.” He mentions that we are not meant to diagnose with these lists, just “get a feel for how trauma symptoms behave.”

• Panic attacks, anxiety and phobias
• Mental “blankness” or spaced-out feelings
• Avoidance behavior ( avoiding places, activities, movements, memories or people)
• Attraction to dangerous situations
• Addictive behaviors (overeating, drinking, smoking, etc.)
• Exaggerated or diminished sexual activity
• Amnesia and forgetfulness
• Inability to love, nurture, or bond with other individuals
• Fear of dying or having a shortened life
• Self-mutilation (severe abuse, self-inflicted cuting, etc.)
• Loss of sustaining beliefs (spiritual, religious, interpersonal)

Then he gives another list and says these “generally take longer to develop” (page 19). “In most cases, they may have been preceded by some of the earlier symptoms.”

• Excessive shyness
• Diminished emotional responses
• Inability to make commitments
• Chronic fatigue or very low physical energy
• Immune system problems and certain endocrine problems such as thyroid malfunction and environmental sensitivities
• Psychosomatic illnesses, particularly headaches, migraines, neck and back problems
• Chronic pain
• Fibromyalgia
• Asthma
• Skin disorders
• Digestive proglems (spastic colon)
• Severe premenstrual syndrome
• Depressionand feelings of impending doom
• Feelings of detachment, alienation and isolation (“living dead” feelings)
• Reduced ability to formulate plans

I imagine we have all experienced enough trauma, even mild trauma, that reading these lists make us feel a little edgy.

So, take a deep breath . . . several.

When you’re ready, continue.

There is one last symptom on page 20. Levine calls it “The Compulsion to Repeat.” It is well worth reading the story he tells there. It is an amazingly specific example.

Now, what does all of this have to do with this blog? Or with “A Home, A Job, A Dream.” I think you are beginning to see. Some of you, especially those with similar experiences to mine, see very clearly. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the fact that you are still reading.

Trauma is a clear case of “reality is kinder than our thinking.”

Remember, it doesn’t matter if the threat is real or what is really going on. Thunder can traumatize a baby, says Levine, but there is no real danger. It is the perception that brings on these trauma symptoms. I’m not saying they are not real. Trust me, they are. I’ll get into some of my own symptoms as we go, and I’ve mentioned a lot of them in previous blogs.

But what Katie says is true, “The worst that can happen is a thought.”

Once we re-think the situation, and I feel Levine is right, we need to include the body in this re-thinking, once we re-think a situation, change our perception of it, healing happens.

A Course in Miracles  says “projection makes perception.” (Text, page 445) We project our thoughts onto people and situations, and believe this to be reality. It’s not. ACIM says we live in a dream world, not in reality. The 365 daily meditations in the workbook and the Text and Manual for Teachers are support in changing our perceptions and waking up to reality.

I call The Work of Byron Katie, A Course in Miracles in 4 questions and a Turn Around. It is much faster. I’m not necessarily saying it’s better, though. Time is a godsend when we are healing and taking a year or more to do A Course in Miracles can be very beneficial.

Steven Sashen gives a great and simple example of reality being kinder than his thinking in his Anti-Guru blog.

http://sashen.com/blog/34/rearranging-furniture-in-imaginary-houses/

Read his version. Basically, one element of his therapy for years was the idea that his parents took $42 from him as a child. The truth was much kinder than his thinking.

Steven is a great example of the Chiron archetype. After years of what you might call financial trauma, he woke up. The seminal event had more to do with relationships, and it generalized to everything. Reality was much kinder than his thinking, and he lived to tell the tale. I wish the book were out. Write and ask him for it. (steven@sashen.com)

And ask when he’s going to teach his next seminar, too. He only teaches on request.

The next seminar will hopefully be on the Instant Advanced Meditation or IAM.

http://www.advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?af=570391

If Katie’s Work is ACIM in 4 questions and a Turn Around, Steven’s IAM is a kinder reality now. It really is instantaneous.

Again, instantaneous is not necessarily “better.” Sometimes a full Worksheet in Katie’s way is exactly what I needed. Sometimes A Course in Miracles. Sometimes IAM. 

I’ve learned a lot from Steven.

So on with my story.  

I’ve told you about last night’s dreams, which include my childhood home. Let me tell you about a job.

Right now, I’m working a temp job at a place that houses counselors, nurses and psychiatrists who see the mentally and developmentally challenged members of our community. There is also an office manager, a person who helps these clients manage their money, and a couple of other business support staff.

Maybe I work temp jobs because I was traumatized by working for my father and going down on him both at the office and at home. I always knew some day I’d grow up and be able to work some other job. But there’s that compulsion to repeat that Levine mentions. I even had sex with co-workers at my very next job, working for an attorney when I was 16 and just out of high school.

I’ve been blessed to be supported by boyfriends and husbands for several periods in my life. This has allowed me to go to school, write, teach and work towards doing something with my background that might be healing for others and continue my own healing in the process.

That’s the job I really want. Well, more truthfully, that’s the job I really have.

So, if you’re a regular reader of this blog, I’ll bet you can put some pieces together and understand how it is that I have tried many major leaps to see how they would go in my attempts to create my dream home, which is my dream job. I moved to Georgia one year to see if I could build my dream there. My dream is how I came to go to Ireland last September. It is what I dreamed of doing with Audrey’s home. It is why I jumped in feet first to see if Paul was the partner I dreamed of who would work with me and complement my talents of writing, teaching and counseling, with his talents in storytelling, sales and money management.

When something looks like the Next Step toward my dream, I take it.

A Home, A Job and A Dream – Healing Trauma

It is my dream to live in an intentional community where I work with like-minded others teaching, writing and counseling.

Maybe I’ll post the latest version of that as a Cowgirl Interlude.

I would love to find others who share that dream with me, living and working together.

In fact, let me put that as a request.

If you feel moved to live and work with others who have experienced life paths of trauma, healing trauma and sharing with others about how to heal trauma, especially the perceived threat of sexual abuse, comment on this blog. I will reply to all serious inquiries.

We need funding, a location, a business manager, an editor, a book publisher, a computer geek or three, as well as teachers, healers, counselors and writers.

So that is my story of my childhood home and jobs, my current home and jobs, and how they relate to my waking and sleeping dreams.

It’s almost time to go to the temp job, so I’ll post this and I may edit it some over the next few days.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Love and many blessings, Ann

Shampoo Series – Green Eggs and Ham Re-Pairing the Universe

(If you followed a Tag and didn’t find what you were looking for, please write a comment, so I know what you were looking for when you got here.) 

First, my mother’s wisdom on the subject:

“Ping or pong – it’s still the same game.”

Mother re-paired the universe there. So, did the little guy in Green Eggs & Ham. All he had to do was to try them. I have a friend in Texas, Kurt, who says, “Always try it twice- it might be an acquired taste.”

Ping – I know Paul and I could make a fabulous couple, enjoying life and doing things together in the world.

Pong – Marriage after 3 visits? Essentially 3 dates? Well, no wonder I balk at that. I’m willing to commit to moving in that direction, certainly.

Paul said “I feel pressured.” He also turned it around and noticed that “I am pressuring you.”

Clarity reigns.

He has been attracted to me for 35 years. I thought he was a nice guy, a good friend, but since he is like neither my father, nor my mother, I did not have the instinctive chemistry that we all have when we meet someone who is the same familiar Higher Alignment archetype as our parents.

I am extremely attracted to Paul’s conversation, goals, values and the way he opens to reality and truth in a heartbeat (especially when I challenge the Southern Baptist Conventions).

My attraction is different. Sexual attraction is learnable. I know that. I am even trained in how to create it. Might take some practice. That’s okay. Sometimes I look at him and think he’s the sexiest man I’ve ever had.

We keep doing The Work of Byron Katie together, the IAM meditations from Steven Sashen, especially Goal-Free Goal Setting, Re-Pairing Opposites and Releasing Contractions.

I’m enjoying the greatest game on Earth – two people dancing their lives together.

Your serve, Paul!

Love, Ann

5 Minutes to Deep Peace on Thursday 9/13

You will be entertained at the very least and enlightenment is an option.

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310

Thursday, 9/13, there is a teleconference call where you can learn more about this. There will be sample meditations and a chance at a free gift worth $400.

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310 

Trust me. You want to try this. The IAM Meditations are the product of the fertile mind of Steven Sashen who is also responsible for much of the Shampoo Method we talk about here every day.

It’s completely safe. I’d trust this guy with my life.

This feeling, this is what we have all been looking for our whole lives. It’s like coming home.

Love, Ann  

Shampoo Series – Annoying is When . . .

someone else does something that bothers you when you do it.

Seriously.

We only get upset when we have done the same thing and not liked ourselves for doing it. Or when we have that same annoying character trait.

Why?

Because you believe it of yourself.  And you don’t like it.

In other words, might you be at least as annoyed with yourself as with the other person?

Check.

What are you favorite annoyances?

Fat people?

Stupid people?

People who drive like you do?   🙂

Do you see the way out?

Relax. It’s obviously fine to be that way. You’re that way.

You might wonder whether you could be any different or do things any differently?

Well, could you?

I’ll bet if you could have you would have.

And you certainly can’t go back in time and change it now!

Isn’t that a relaxing thought?

It’s done. Nothing you can do about it.  

Which way do you think it will be easier to remember and see a different choice in the future? Peaceful or annoyed?

Peaceful, of course.

So relax.

The way not to be annoyed by others is to accept that you’re sometimes fat or dumb or you drive crazy .

And the way to do it differently in the future, is to relax.  

Many thanks and much love to Steven Sashen who taught me this much truer perspective on annoyance.

Love, Ann

Shampoo Series – Broken or Just Not Yet Blooming?

I started this blog over a month ago and I still feel like I’m fumbling with concepts that have to be experienced to be understood.  I have trouble thinking anyone can read this blog and “get” what I’m talking about.

I was thinking about Paul, about how we don’t seem to “meet” in most of my worldview and concepts. I mistakenly gave the impression that I felt he was “broken.” I was driving along one day, thinking about that, and wondering what would be a better way to say it, and I decided that it was closer to say he just wasn’t in full bloom. Maybe.

Then last night at a Gathering for the Work of Byron Katie, Sashen talked about cause & effect in terms of a rosebud.

What Sashen was saying is that we do these “non-technique techniques” and think that we caused something, when actually, if we threw the rosebud in a closet, it would still bloom.

Most likely, when we came back to find the rosebud in full bloom, we would think that our “technique” did it, when actually, the rose would have bloomed had we done nothing at all.

I used to think no one could have these “blooming experiences” with words. I was wrong. I’ve had some really amazing experiences from “just words” since then.  

“Which words?” you may be thinking.

The ones I write about here – The Work of Byron Katie, Instant Advanced Meditations (IAM) by Steven Sashen, and Jason Shulman’s book Kabbalistic Healing are my best examples.

But Steven is right. These are not “techniques” the way we usually think of them. And furthermore, when we use them to get some predictable outcome they don’t “work.”

Counselors & healers seem to think people are “broken.”

That’s part of why I have never worked as a counselor in an agency. The DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Volume IV) is just a big storybook about how people can be “broken.”

I don’t buy it and I certainly can’t sell it.

Of course, what I do buy can still be used as a way to “help,” “heal,” or “fix” things.

The minute we do that they don’t “work.”

It seems to be when I just play around with them to see what happens, some of the most amazing things “happen.”

Sashen, Katie and Shulman, and come to think of it, David Deida’s “opening as,” and Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now are all word-based things that seem to create some kind of “experience.”

I used to call those experiences “healing.”

But that would imply I was sick.

Was I?

I don’t think so. I was just doing what humans do.

Hopefully, Steven’s monthly IAM Chit-Chat tomorrow call will shed some more light on this . . . and how to talk and write about it.

Love, Ann

PS – I know Paul and some of his friends read this blog. Would you mind dropping me a comment or an email to say whether this is clear to you or not?  Thanks!

Ping

My Yogi Tea tab today says:

“Where there is love, there is no question.”

My friend in London sent me a gorgeous voice recording of Sonnet 116 by Shakespeare. I’ll post that as a Cowgirl Interlude soon.

Paul sent me “On the Street Where You Live” from My Fair Lady.

He is on his way to Phoenix to meet my mother and her husband?

Oh, how did that happen? Well, Mother is cleaning out some books. She had a couple of Linda Goodman’s astrology books to give away and wondered if I wanted them. I don’t, but Paul was interested in taking a look at them. Okay. Now he is on his way to Phoenix. He has business there, and he will be visiting his parents. Then he will have dinner with Mother and her husband on Thursday.

Me?

Oh Jeez. I don’t know!

It’s just the most romantic thing that’s every happened to me and I’ve had a lot of romance in my life, a lot.

I’m nervous. That’s what.

I only know one person who did a complete about-face on a relationship. Steven Sashen’s wife did that. The story is in Byron Katie’s second book,  I Need Your Love – Is That True? It wasn’t until Sashen really let go of the tension of wanting a relationship with her that things relaxed, clarity prevailed and she looked at him and thought that she could have the freedom and love she had always wanted.

Up until then, she was not interested in him.

That gave them a couple of years to become friends first. She says that made all the difference. Steven proved he’d be there, that he wanted more than a fantasy. That took some time.

And I’ve got time.

I will marry when it is simply the Next thing to do.

I will marry when there is no aching, needing, wanting, gotta have it on either side – mine or my husband’s. When marrying is the next obvious step to having the life that each of us wants. When it is not an attempt to fill some imaginary void inside, but an expression of the fullness of who I am, and who he is.

I want that decision to arise naturally and spontaneously from a place of peace and clarity.

I think you begin to understand that now if you’ve read a few of these blogs.

You also understand why, when we are “needing” and “wanting” it tells me clearly that in that moment, that this is not it.

And when we are clear and peaceful, I can see the possibility.

Now, when *I* am clear and peaceful about marrying someone – Paul or whomever – then and only then, will I say, “yes.”

Ideally, all decisions – cars, furniture, vacations – arise from that clear, peaceful, God-centered spontaneous place.

Love, Ann

“Success is a side-effect of clarity.”

                   – Steven Sashen

                    http://sashen.com/blog/

Shampoo Series – Inner Health

Health

I have learned that most health issues – physical, mental and emotional  – have to do with using our body as a toxic dump for things that were never meant to go in our mouths (or our minds.)

This is rooted in lack of spiritual trust, relaxation and peace.

We think we have to do things to support and protect ourselves from the illusion of attacks from “outside.” There is no “outside.” All that stuff we think is attacking us, be it other people, viruses, pollution, disagreement, countries, ALL of it, is our own THINKING.

“Reality is kinder than your thinking.”  Byron Katie

We terrorize ourselves with lies and stories about the past and the future and this keeps us from experiencing a True Present.

The habitual tension and stress keeps our bodies in a nearly constant state of agitation and red alert both waking and sleeping, which tears down our mental, emotional and physical health over the years. Depending on our diet and exercise habits, this creates illness (aka dis-EASE) of various types.

Meditation reconnects us with a true present and inner peace.

Then, and only then, can we really begin to heal.

IAM meditations are still my favorites.

Starting back in the 80’s I have sporadically done cleanses, mostly Arise & Shine – www.ariseandshine.com. If you like to read, I would highly recommend Dr. Richard Anderson’s book, Cleanse and Purify Thyself. Basically, we need to clean out the toxic dump that we’ve poured coffee, white sugar, white flour, cooked foods and other unnatural substances into all of these years. First, remove the toxins, then support it by not doing that anymore.

We use herbs, lots of good clean water, whole foods in their natural state, etc. to support that health.

We do yoga, exercise, sex and breathwork to bring our bodies into better physical balance.

We talk with others – counselors, friends, and support groups (like the 12 Step groups, and group counseling, seminars and workshops) to return to mental/emotional health.

We question our thoughts with The Work of Byron Katie, Quantum Wealth, Sedona Method and other paths to clarity.

And we continue to meditate and stay connected to our inner wisdom to know specifically which of these to do and when. We make no decisions for ourselves. We allow Guidance to arise from within.

Thus, when life’s seeming challenges arise – death of a loved one, divorce, a dis-ease, job issues, relationship questions – we go inside, find that inner peace in Wholeness, and we are guided in peace and truth.

I could say much more about the details of which healing modalities I have found valuable through the years, but I think the framework is enough for now.

I ran this much of the article by my friend in London and he reminded me of somthing very important:

It is just as stressful to make “health” a rule or a requirement.

If we try to use external “rules” instead of inner guidance then those external, stressful, imposed ideas or concepts about how things “should be” can be just as counterproductive as junk food.

Our Guidance may be to eat the chocolate chip cookie.

Love, Ann

“Health is a result of relinquishing attack thoughts.”

                          –  A Course in Miracles