Everyone knows this one.
The finger. The bird.
It means something that is both sex and anger.
There’s a clue here.
I’ve been in groups of women over the past few years where one or another of us has made the statement that we would make a sacrifice for our country and do the nasty with Dubya if it would just get us out of the war. The man is clearly sex-deprived. All that misplaced creative energy spent in a fuck you war, rather than the bliss of two bodies blending.
What’s wrong with this picture?
Everything and nothing, really.
In some ways, George W. Bush is the best thing that could have happened to our country. It’s like what I said in a blog a few days ago – for things to be perfect, something has to go wrong. If that isn’t intuitively obvious, read the blog. There’s a search box on the right.
I’m not saying that the only or even the best way to handle anger is to have sex; however, when our creative energies don’t have anywhere to go, anger is the likely result.
What’s the opposite of anger?
According to Phil Laut, the healthy side of anger is Determination. My experience supports this. He says, “Anger is the intent to do something, contaminated with the illusion of helplessness.”
Love that.
You might want to read it twice.
Notice that it says the “illusion” of helplessness. Why? Because we’re not helpless! Ever? Ever. Do I need to bring up Victor Frankl again?
A Course in Miracles says that “All anger is the attempt to make someone feel guilty.”
In other words, it’s manipulative. It’s a projection. And it is not real.
Depression, they say, is anger turned inward.
Does that fit with your experience if you’ve ever been depressed?
Sex can be good for depression. : )
There is a lifestyle called “Taken In Hand,” that is basically a Domestic Discipline relationship, similar to a Domination/submission relationship that seems to involve spanking and sex. There is a web site about this. I’m not going to try to analyze all of the sex and anger components here or how that works for couples involved with it, but it has some interesting aspects.
Is there a difference between sex and making love? There could be. Those could be opposites to some people depending on how you think about them.
Casual Sex and Lovemaking? Casual Relationship and Commited Relationship?
Separation and Union? Alone and Together?
Frustrated and Satisfied. Now, there’s a pair!
Aroused and indifferent? Hmm.
What other opposites can you think of that relate to sex and/or anger?
I’ve mentioned a lot of potential opposite pairs. Does that suggest one of the Shampoo Methods?
Mm hmm. Re-Pairing Opposites.
The directions are over there under Pages anytime you want them, but here they are again, too.
Take a pair of opposites like Anger & Determination or Frustrated & Satisfied.
Imagine Anger (or whatever you are working with) in one hand. Make it a pretty complete picture with all 5 senses.
Imagine Determination in the other hand. Again, make it complete as you can.
Then go back and forth, noticing the differences.
At some point, you will realize that you are bouncing back and forth between a kind of black/white, good/bad duality and that there is a third place.
Let’s call this third place the “truth place,” a place beyond duality, the whole of the yin-yang, not the parts.
If you are using your hands for the pair, you may notice that this 3rd place is the fulcrum, at your heart.
Bring your hands together at a rate of speed that is comfortable for you and place your palms against your heart. Breathe into this whole, truth place and notice any shifts in your energy, any relaxing.
Wonder what your Next Step might be now that you are in a place of wholeness. It may be more exploration or maybe you know what to do.
And if you happen to run into Dubya, show him how to do some of these Shampoo Methods, will you?
Love, Ann
“Perhaps it will be helpful to remember that no one can be angry at a fact. It is always an interpretation that gives rise to negative emotions, regardless of their seeming justification by what appears as facts.”
– A Course in Miracles, M-17.4:1
Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.
– Marcus Aurelius
Ann's Tale 