“I wanted refuge, not chaos.
I wanted peace, not passion.
I was trapped in my little room of sanctity, in my meditative stillness and solitude.
This wasn’t true freedom. Nor was it love.
As Mykonos pointed out, I wasn’t penetrating the world
with my love and opening “her” into bliss.
Rather, I was pulling back. I was obsessed with myself.”
– David Deida, Wild Nights
Beltane, depending on whom you ask, is yesterday, today or even Saturday.
What is Beltane?
It is the holy day (holiday) of fertility . . . Holy Daze of Fertility, Batman!
Plain and simple.
Agriculural communities celebrated Spring and fertility, supposedly having mass orgies & dancing around Beltane fires in order to insure good crops (and probably because sex is just plain fun.) Rumor has it that couples handfasted for “a year and a day” at this time. I’d consider that. In fact, that was kind of what I have been looking for since December. On the other hand, maybe not. I am of at least two minds on that one.
Might as well be. We are not necessarily meant to be sane around this time of year.
Spring Fever? Rutting passions? You know.
May 1, the Full Moon or an astrological degree, that according to one site, is when the Pleiades is on the horizon, which seems to be Saturday and the markers I’ve found for the timing.
Good grief. See what happens when popes muck about with good agrarian timing?
I decided that Beltane is all week, through Sunday!
In fact, if I keep enjoying it as much as I have so far, I may just declare the whole month or even the whole year Beltane. Why not? It’s all pretty arbitrary.
I did Steven Sashen’s Goal-Free Goal Setting meditation last night on the “goal” of having someone intimate to talk to. I found someone a couple of months ago that totally lit that fire and then dropped out. I’m still smoldering. More than that, really.
He left me aching and hungry. I went into sexual abstinence, thinking that Qi Gong classes would support me in this. They did not. Not needing to do their 100 days, I decided not to spend half the summer in abstinence. I noticed that Beltane was coming up.
Beltane has many traditions, some may be New Age fluff, some may be vaguely real. Tom Robbins makes use of some of the Beltane ideas in one of my favorite books of all time, Jitterbug Perfume. Highly recommended reading. See Amazon for excerpts.
Here are some Beltane links for you, if you’re interested:
http://www.cyberwitch.com/wychwood/Temple/beltane.htm
and http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/7280/beltane.html
from http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/7280/ which has all the holy days.
You’ll find it on Wikipedia, too.
So, here I am, ravenous as usual, and wondering what to do with myself (or with anyone else.)
“You know what it’s like to take the Great One
so far into you that there’s nothing left to do
but give it all up to the Lord, don’t you?
Maybe you’ve never done it.
But you know what it would be like.
You can feel it. You know you want it.
You want to be fucked into God, don’t you?
Do you know what I mean, ma?”
– David Deida, Wild Nights
This is what happens when I read David Deida. I stayed up reading almost half of Wild Nights last night. I had an orgasm, found myself thinking of someone I miss, cried, put the vibrator down and the phone rang.
First, Joy called. We’re arranging for me to visit her.
30 seconds later Sean called. He was going to go, but backed out, and is helping me make the trip.
30 seconds after that Taylor called. I hadn’t talked with him in a couple of weeks.
Nice to get what we ask for, isn’t it?
I tied up my conversation with Joy. I called Sean back. I told Taylor we could talk today at a more human hour. I was already an hour past my bedtime (sundown).
Now I’ve been up since sunrise (around 5:15 am), working out some of the details of several projects I need to get on with now that I’m done with some required bill paying activities that will hopefully leave me free for a month to do these other projects like teach, start a goddess center, work on the book this blog is writing and other fun stuff like that there.
Orgasms.
I have not yet had any orgasms this morning.
Why?
Well, I don’t know. I have this tendency to jump out of bed, do some busywork and email, then when all that is off my mind, at least an hour later, go back to the sheets for a while. My bath water is hot. Maybe I’ll play in there.
I think I’ll just leave you wondering.
Love, Ann
“What this world needs more of is loving: friendly and unashamed.”
– Robert A. Heinlein
To Sail Beyond The Sunset
“He is afraid to fuck. He is afraid to dance with the lady, ma.
He wants to stand back and watch, like a scientist.
He’s afraid to leave his room, to lose his purity
that he has worked so hard to attain.
He’s afraid to lose his precious stillness.
He’s afraid of the wildness of woman.
Everything has to be all tidy for him.
He wants the pussy, but he doesn’t want the slop.
He wants the tit, but not the tooth.
Oh, he is a good man, alright. Look at the light in his eyes.
The light has guided his entire life.
This boy might just make it.
But not until he learns to embrace the lady, ma.”
…
“And I’m not talking about him
wiggling his pecker in her pussy, you know?
I’m talking about the heart.”
– David Deida, Wild Nights
Ancient Holy Days
by Astrological Degree
0 degrees Aries – Vernal Equinox
15 degrees Taurus – Beltane
0 degrees Cancer – Summer Solstice
15 degrees – Leo – Lammas
0 degrees Libra – Autumnal Equinox
15 degrees Scorpio Samhain
0 degrees Capricorn Winter Solstice
15 degrees Aquarius – Imbolc
Ann's Tale 