Have You Been Doing “The Work Lite”?

Many people know of “The Work of Byron Katie,” and many people have heard her speak and have read her books. A smaller number have done a workshop or two, and maybe a handful of Worksheets. An even smaller number have explored an entire nest of thoughts on one subject. And a smaller number than that have explored as many things as they can think of until they reach the point that thoughts arise and the questions happen almost automatically. Judgments and ill-will slide off like butter off Teflon.

A lot of people get a taste of The Work, like what it does, and stop there. Maybe they only hear someone else do The Work, and never do a Worksheet of their own. Maybe they only read a book or watch a video.

This is doing “The Work Lite.”

The Work goes deeper than this. When a nest of judgements has been explored more fully, we don’t need anyone else to do, be or say anything in any particular way for us to be at peace.

That is what is at the bottom of the idea that no one can be hurt by me, nor can I be hurt by anyone. (See Pages on the right.)

It’s also the passage from “Relationship Lessons” to “Inner Success” in Larry’s Worldview hierarchy. Relationship Lessons worldview is so drama and trauma filled simply because we still believe in blame.

(Worldview is explained in Compatibility Factors on my Pages at the right, as well as having its own page.)

Inner success is peaceful and powerful because we are not believing our blame stories so much any more.

The invitation here is to do more Worksheets, full Worksheets, on more thoughts, if you feel so inclined. Otherwise, you have probably*** not experienced the deeper peace The Work can offer if you spend more time with it.

Love, Ann

*** “I’d take out the ‘probably’.” ~ Byron Katie

People’s Feelings Can Be Hurt – Is that True?

Nothing can hurt people’s feelings but their own thoughts. I do not have any power to hurt anyone. Only they do. I’ll let you download a worksheet (from Pages on the right) and do your own exploration on this.

I’m really sorry people don’t know that, and I can’t help you with what you will not question.

I told someone their belief that a Louise Hay affirmation was going to cure their cold was a “true believer” mentality and a lie. She looked it up and found the definition of “true believer,” and asked if that was what I meant. Yes, it was.

I was not attacking anyone. I used an accurate phrase, “true believer” to describe what was being said.

She quoted Hoffer from Wikipedia:

“mass movements appeal to people who want to escape a flawed self by creating an imaginary self and joining a collective whole.”

Yes, that is the sort of thing I was referring to.

The reason you might think you are hurt by it is because you *agree* with me. Otherwise, it would have no place to land. I could call you a one-eyed pink puffy turtle and you’d just laugh. It would not hurt. This does only because you agree.

She came back with “poor me” and blamed me for the fact that she agree with me.

And it’s been going back and forth with no real new information whatsoever. How boring. Again, a statement that will only bother you if you agree with me.

This tendency to turn our own dislike of something outward and blame someone else is what will ruin your relationships, not what anyone else did or said. But you will cling to the idea that you are a victim of their words or actions in order to avoid responsibility and fail to notice that you were the one you were upset with, not me, not them, not your lover or your mother, for example.

I am completely done with being friends with victims. Yes, I have just a few friends, and it is worth it.

A person can un-friend me or whatever, but I really don’t have time for victims and being blamed for what you think.

“If I had a prayer, it would be this: God please spare me from the desire for love, approval and appreciation.”

You guessed it: Byron Katie.

Love, Ann

With eternal gratitude to the man who taught me to think. It changed my life. Thank you.

UDecide.org

 
If you have friends who are undecided, there is a lot on these 5 flyers, including voting records.
 
               http://www.udecide2008.com/         
 
 
As far as I can tell, all politicians are politicians – they have to have certain characteristics to want to be in that kind of work.  They know how to say what people want to hear. They know how to give and receive favors.  None of these qualities are, in themselves, “bad.”
No individual politician, not even the President, can single-handedly create or pass *anything*.  The Constitution, when honored, does a pretty good job of guaranteeing that decisions must come from a group.  Checks and balances.

So, no politician can guarantee that any specific policies or preferences will pass. That’s a Good Thing ™.
 
I read something recently that reminded me how differently we treat people when we define them as “other” instead of “one of us.” We all do that. It’s a survival mechanism. But we can also question it.
 
I hear that McCain is a former POW who was tortured. My decision to vote for Obama was made before I heard this, but this reinforced it. Many of you know I quit a job at Texas Instruments in about 1991 when I realized my work was supporting missile guidance for bombs.
 
You all know about my childhood sexual abuse.
 
So, you can imagine that I would not be likely to vote for someone who sounds more likely to be reactive and vengeful than proactive and forgiving.
 
‘Nuff said.
 
Please pass it on.
 
Hopefully, this will be my last politically-oriented post this year. This time next month, we will have elected a new President.

Love, Ann

Adrenaline or Peace ? You Pick

This morning I got an email from someone in my brunch group. It was long, but at the center of it was something like this:

“I’m writing a personal note to you to share something with you that I believe could significantly add to the richness of your already amazing life. A few months ago I became involved with HUB- Humanity Unites Brilliance. HUB is where we connect to change the world. HUB is an opportunity to live your life’s purpose AND create sustained abundance for you personally or for your non-profit. I believe it’s a huge opportunity!
 
I’m writing to invite you to join me for 5 days in Long Beach, CA, June 18-22, for an experience you won’t forget! The cost for the event is $2500 per person, but it is FREE TO YOU.  I get to take 3 people for FREE, and I’d like you to be one the three on my personal list. If you’re interested please let me know ASAP (first come, first serve) so that I can save a space for you, as I know these free passes will go soon! The 5 days will be filled with great inspiration from top business leaders, social change artists, and empowerment coaches, in-depth education from some of the most brilliant minds in the world, and a sense of community like I’ve never experienced anywhere else. ”

Oh really?  Well, I did her the courtesy of replying:

Dear Tooth Fairy,

I can see you’re all full of  . . . may I be honest?  Adrenaline about this.
 
I used to read things like this and think “Oh, this could be it! This could be how I (fill in the blank).   No, take that out of parenthesis. I thought it was how I could fill in the “blanks” I thought I saw in my life.
 
I’ve since learned that I was mistakenly equating these adrenaline highs with truth or some kind of guidance. And I learned this from my own experiences, as well as from listening to the seed-thoughts of Steven Sashen’s blogs.
 
Let me counter your invitation with another one. OK?
 
As you go through this process you are in, just ask yourself a couple of questions when you think of it.
 
1.  Is this peaceful or stressful?  (and go for truly peaceful – not excited, not jazzed, not OMG this is fabulous – peaceful)
 
2.  Whose business am I in?  (God’s, someone else’s, or mine)  with a potential sub-question, when I’m over there in their business, who’s taking care of my business?
 
 
I’m sure HUB is a fine organization with good intentions. And it’s not for me.
 
Here is a second invitation for you.
 
Read some of Steven’s Anti-Guru Blog.  I know you are packing your time with so much excitement (for me that reads “stress”) that you may feel you have no time, and what you do is entirely up to you.
 
But I’ll give you a link to one that might really apply and you can look at some of the other jewels in there if you want. They are both offerings of new words for our dictionary:
 
 
http://sashen.com/blog/49/manifrustration/
 
 
http://sashen.com/blog/51/hoping-to-be-a-successhole/
 
 
http://sashen.com/blog/
 
 
I wish you all the best.  Hope to see you at brunch when this wears off. You’re a truly wonderful individual.
 
Love, Ann

Crazy Busy? (Shampoo Method – Zooming in on Peace)

Why is it that whenever I try to schedule tea with my New-Agey friends, they all say the same thing?

“I’m just crazy busy.”  or “I can’t schedule that far in advance.”

Now, barring any halitosis or offensive personal attributes on my part, surely these people, all of whom claim to be “on a spiritual path,” can manage their time and schedules?

I think they are really feeling that overwhelmed.

Why?

For a while, I used the signature quote, “When God created time He made enough of it” which is apparently a Celtic saying.

Maybe they were too busy to notice or comment on it.

After they tell me they don’t have time to relax and get together, they start telling me how they’re taking new vitamins and scheduling hypnosis sessions and starting a new exercise regime to handle their stress. In other words, they’re busy trying to “fix” themselves.

I don’t get it. Aren’t we meditating? Didn’t we do our “Yoga for Relaxation?” Or chant our mantra today?

Okay, maybe all those things don’t deliver the “peace that passesth understanding,” as promised. Oopsie! And none of them have any effect at all if we stash the CD’s in a corner and never use them.

Maybe we are NOT BROKEN!!! What could we do with all the free time we would have (not to mention money) if we weren’t so busy trying to “fix” ourselves?

I realized as I was writing this that if I am not careful, this will turn into another one of my posts promoting “The Shampoo Methods”  (see the sidebar on the right) and the “IAM Meditations” http://www.advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?af=570391

Look at those, if you wish, but whatever you do, stop a minute. Yes, right now.

Check inside.

Are you feeling peaceful?

I don’t care if you run around at a faster pace than others around you. That’s just Pacing (see Compatibility Factors on the right).  I’m just asking if you’re feeling peaceful or stressed out?

Do you have time for the things you want to do?

Or are you running around like a head with your chicken cut off just like all those “corporate America” types we like to bash for “not being spiritual?”

Check.

“Zooming in on Peace” might be an interesting thing to do.

Can you find one place in your body that is peaceful right now?

Just one – a small place will do. Could be your little toe or the back of your hand or your ear.

Now, “zoom in” on that peaceful place, as if you were looking at it through a microscope. Magnify it.

You might end up a little blissed-out sometimes when you do this.

Zoom in on it some more. Keep repeating this for a while.

Shampoo Method – Lather, rinse, repeat!

Keep doing that until . . . well, until you’re done.

And when you finish that, if you feel like it, call me and we’ll make a date for tea!

Love, Ann

“Peace in our minds and in our lives is a cause-effect relationship.”

 

 

A Home, A Job, A Dream – Trauma and Healing and Gratitude

Today, I could write about 5 blogs.

If you followed a Tag and didn’t find what you were looking for, please write a comment, so I know what you were looking for when you got here.

I woke up about 5 am, maybe earlier. I got out of bed about 5:30 am. This is beginning to be a lot of 5’s – a lot of change, the numerologist in me says.

One thing about living with cats is that you often remember your dreams. Why? The cat wakes you up in the middle of them. That’s why. Maybe it is  feature, not a bug.

Because there is so much, I’m will tell you what I’m going to tell you, tell you and then tell you what I told you. It’s an old formula for writing and speaking that can be very useful. While I may be no good at planning or cleaning, I am phenomenal at organizing. It helps me feel safe, so I got really good at it.

Several things play a part in today’s blog.

I’m going to tell you about home: my childhood home, the home I am working in for a temp job and the home I dream to live and work in.

I’m going to tell you about jobs. My first job was working for my father, beginning when I was about 12. This week, and maybe next, I am working in a house, donated to a mental health center and staffed by psychiatrists, counselors, nurses with office support staff to manage all the paperwork. Then there is my dream job.

I’m going to tell you my dreams, both waking and sleeping dreams. 

This is what an astrologer would call a Chiron story, a story of a wounded healer. Chiron is an asteroid only recently included in astrology.  Chiron is one of the centaurs, half human, half horse, just like my Sun, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Midheaven, which are all in Sagittarius – the sign of the centaur. You know the picture. We carry a bow and arrow and are known both for flinging them wildly and for hitting distant targets. I guess Centaurs have very good eyes. We see deep into people and situations. Other people call us psychic, but really, it’s just about looking rather than looking away. If you want to know more about Chiron and centaurs, check Wikipedia or read Eric Francis at www.planetwaves.net.

Back to the story . . .  

Let’s start with the dreams the cat helped me to remember this morning.

Last night before I went to sleep, I read the first 3 chapters of Peter A. Levine’s book, Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body. I’ve known about Peter’s work for about 7 years. Some of the women I interned with during my master’s program were studying his work at a different school than mine. It sounded good to me, and I bought a copy of his book, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. I know I read some of it. Somewhere during the past 4 years of moving from home to home, I gave it away unfinished. Every now and then, I think I’ll try again.

The first dream the cat helped me to remember is, of course, not completely clear. I remember that someone wanted me to go out with him. It seemed like it was Michael, a former friend’s ex-husband. Okay, I remember thinking about him  yesterday. That makes some sense. I also remember being in an office building. It was kind of vacant and the time was early evening, I think. I was meeting my former roommate or at least he was there. Again, I emailed with him yesterday because he’s bringing me a bill of sale so I can register the car he so generously gave me. The last part of the dream, I was asking a chiropractor, actually, he’s the husband of a chiropractor I saw for many years. He rarely practices, but he is trained. I was asking him if I could pay his lowest price for a single adjustment. Single adjustments usually cost much more. He is a Network Chiropractor. I see a Flow Chiropractor now. But clearly the dream was about men, support and healing.

The second dream the cat helped me remember was about my childhood home. I was driving by and realized that the original red brick was back (some insensitive boob has actually painted the rich red brick, and it is now a creamy yellow – yuck). There were bushes sitting in pots ready to be planted. They were ligustrum, gardenia and something I used to call a bee bush, no idea what it really is, but the bees liked the white flowers. The old gardenias were dried and frazzled, but still alive and someone had removed them and placed them in pots. I suppose the nursery planned to bring them back to life.

Mema, my maternal grandmother, was there. She said that Mother still had the house and was refurbishing it. In the dream, I wondered what the rent would be and wondered about living there. I wondered if I could create my intentional healing community there.

I read both these dreams as stories of healing, healing trauma and sexual abuse, which is what this blog is mostly all about.

From my reading last night, here is a list from Peter Levine’s Healing Trauma.

Oh, first, let me say what trauma is.

On page 8, Levine says that after 30 years, it is still a challenge for him to define trauma. He says, “What I do know is that we become traumatized when our ability to respond to a perceived threat is in some way overwhelmed. This inability to adequately respond can impact us in obvious ways, as well as ways that are subtle.”

On page 20, Levine says, “The symptoms of trauma can be stable, that is, ever-present. They can also be unstable, meaning that they can come and go and be triggered by stress. Or they can remain hidden for decades and suddenly surface. Usually, symptoms do not occur individually, but come in groups. They often grow increasingly complex over time, becoming less and less connected with the original trauma experience.”

There are a lot of good lists in Levine’s book. It’s short and comes with a CD of guided exercises for re-visiting trauma and healing the body memories and associated symptoms. 

So, back to the lists I mentioned. You’ll find a list of “Obvious Causes of Trauma” and “Less Obvious Causes of Trauma” on pages 14 and 15. Levine suggests we pay attention to our bodies as we read these and notice any uneasiness or discomfort. I’ll let you get the book and do that.

He categorizes symptoms this way:

1. Hyperarousal
2. Constriction
3. Dissociation and denial
4. Feelings of helplessness, immobility and freezing

Now, here’s that list found on pages 18 – 20:

Symptoms: A Lengthy List 

• Hypervigilence (being “on guard” at all times)
• Intrusive imagery or flashbacks
• Extreme sensitivity to light and sound
• Hyperactivity
• Exaggerated emotional and startle responses
• Nightmares and night terrors
• Abrupt mood swings (rage reactions or temper tantrums, frequent anger, or crying)
• Shame and lack of self-worth
• Reduced ability to deal with stress (easily and frequently stressed out)
• Difficulty sleeping

Then he says some symptoms “can show up later, even years later.” He mentions that we are not meant to diagnose with these lists, just “get a feel for how trauma symptoms behave.”

• Panic attacks, anxiety and phobias
• Mental “blankness” or spaced-out feelings
• Avoidance behavior ( avoiding places, activities, movements, memories or people)
• Attraction to dangerous situations
• Addictive behaviors (overeating, drinking, smoking, etc.)
• Exaggerated or diminished sexual activity
• Amnesia and forgetfulness
• Inability to love, nurture, or bond with other individuals
• Fear of dying or having a shortened life
• Self-mutilation (severe abuse, self-inflicted cuting, etc.)
• Loss of sustaining beliefs (spiritual, religious, interpersonal)

Then he gives another list and says these “generally take longer to develop” (page 19). “In most cases, they may have been preceded by some of the earlier symptoms.”

• Excessive shyness
• Diminished emotional responses
• Inability to make commitments
• Chronic fatigue or very low physical energy
• Immune system problems and certain endocrine problems such as thyroid malfunction and environmental sensitivities
• Psychosomatic illnesses, particularly headaches, migraines, neck and back problems
• Chronic pain
• Fibromyalgia
• Asthma
• Skin disorders
• Digestive proglems (spastic colon)
• Severe premenstrual syndrome
• Depressionand feelings of impending doom
• Feelings of detachment, alienation and isolation (“living dead” feelings)
• Reduced ability to formulate plans

I imagine we have all experienced enough trauma, even mild trauma, that reading these lists make us feel a little edgy.

So, take a deep breath . . . several.

When you’re ready, continue.

There is one last symptom on page 20. Levine calls it “The Compulsion to Repeat.” It is well worth reading the story he tells there. It is an amazingly specific example.

Now, what does all of this have to do with this blog? Or with “A Home, A Job, A Dream.” I think you are beginning to see. Some of you, especially those with similar experiences to mine, see very clearly. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the fact that you are still reading.

Trauma is a clear case of “reality is kinder than our thinking.”

Remember, it doesn’t matter if the threat is real or what is really going on. Thunder can traumatize a baby, says Levine, but there is no real danger. It is the perception that brings on these trauma symptoms. I’m not saying they are not real. Trust me, they are. I’ll get into some of my own symptoms as we go, and I’ve mentioned a lot of them in previous blogs.

But what Katie says is true, “The worst that can happen is a thought.”

Once we re-think the situation, and I feel Levine is right, we need to include the body in this re-thinking, once we re-think a situation, change our perception of it, healing happens.

A Course in Miracles  says “projection makes perception.” (Text, page 445) We project our thoughts onto people and situations, and believe this to be reality. It’s not. ACIM says we live in a dream world, not in reality. The 365 daily meditations in the workbook and the Text and Manual for Teachers are support in changing our perceptions and waking up to reality.

I call The Work of Byron Katie, A Course in Miracles in 4 questions and a Turn Around. It is much faster. I’m not necessarily saying it’s better, though. Time is a godsend when we are healing and taking a year or more to do A Course in Miracles can be very beneficial.

Steven Sashen gives a great and simple example of reality being kinder than his thinking in his Anti-Guru blog.

http://sashen.com/blog/34/rearranging-furniture-in-imaginary-houses/

Read his version. Basically, one element of his therapy for years was the idea that his parents took $42 from him as a child. The truth was much kinder than his thinking.

Steven is a great example of the Chiron archetype. After years of what you might call financial trauma, he woke up. The seminal event had more to do with relationships, and it generalized to everything. Reality was much kinder than his thinking, and he lived to tell the tale. I wish the book were out. Write and ask him for it. (steven@sashen.com)

And ask when he’s going to teach his next seminar, too. He only teaches on request.

The next seminar will hopefully be on the Instant Advanced Meditation or IAM.

http://www.advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?af=570391

If Katie’s Work is ACIM in 4 questions and a Turn Around, Steven’s IAM is a kinder reality now. It really is instantaneous.

Again, instantaneous is not necessarily “better.” Sometimes a full Worksheet in Katie’s way is exactly what I needed. Sometimes A Course in Miracles. Sometimes IAM. 

I’ve learned a lot from Steven.

So on with my story.  

I’ve told you about last night’s dreams, which include my childhood home. Let me tell you about a job.

Right now, I’m working a temp job at a place that houses counselors, nurses and psychiatrists who see the mentally and developmentally challenged members of our community. There is also an office manager, a person who helps these clients manage their money, and a couple of other business support staff.

Maybe I work temp jobs because I was traumatized by working for my father and going down on him both at the office and at home. I always knew some day I’d grow up and be able to work some other job. But there’s that compulsion to repeat that Levine mentions. I even had sex with co-workers at my very next job, working for an attorney when I was 16 and just out of high school.

I’ve been blessed to be supported by boyfriends and husbands for several periods in my life. This has allowed me to go to school, write, teach and work towards doing something with my background that might be healing for others and continue my own healing in the process.

That’s the job I really want. Well, more truthfully, that’s the job I really have.

So, if you’re a regular reader of this blog, I’ll bet you can put some pieces together and understand how it is that I have tried many major leaps to see how they would go in my attempts to create my dream home, which is my dream job. I moved to Georgia one year to see if I could build my dream there. My dream is how I came to go to Ireland last September. It is what I dreamed of doing with Audrey’s home. It is why I jumped in feet first to see if Paul was the partner I dreamed of who would work with me and complement my talents of writing, teaching and counseling, with his talents in storytelling, sales and money management.

When something looks like the Next Step toward my dream, I take it.

A Home, A Job and A Dream – Healing Trauma

It is my dream to live in an intentional community where I work with like-minded others teaching, writing and counseling.

Maybe I’ll post the latest version of that as a Cowgirl Interlude.

I would love to find others who share that dream with me, living and working together.

In fact, let me put that as a request.

If you feel moved to live and work with others who have experienced life paths of trauma, healing trauma and sharing with others about how to heal trauma, especially the perceived threat of sexual abuse, comment on this blog. I will reply to all serious inquiries.

We need funding, a location, a business manager, an editor, a book publisher, a computer geek or three, as well as teachers, healers, counselors and writers.

So that is my story of my childhood home and jobs, my current home and jobs, and how they relate to my waking and sleeping dreams.

It’s almost time to go to the temp job, so I’ll post this and I may edit it some over the next few days.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Love and many blessings, Ann

Shampoo Series – Spiritual Enlightenment – What If?

What if . . .

Think of the things you complain about, dread and dislike in your life. Make a list.

Now, what if your happiness, your peace, your “spiritual enlightenment,” depended on having exactly those things in your life?

We have this idea that if we achieve these concepts of happiness, peace and spiritual enlightenment everything will be some kind of “All Bliss, All the Time.”

Well, check.

I was at the Gathering for the Work of Byron Katie, when someone said that she couldn’t follow her spiritual calling unless she had the freedom to move out of state, something she cannot do with her child, by divorce decree.

Steven looked at her and asked, “Nelson Mandela was in prison for how long?”

We all laughed.

“And the Christian saints and martyrs? They were free to move and travel about all the time, right?”

Er…

I added, “and Ghandi got around really well while he was fasting.”

No, he could barely lay on his pallet sometimes he was so weak from fasting from what I have heard.

For myself, incest in my childhood, the exciting and exhilarating journey from grief to gratitude, were all part of following my spiritual calling. The story is in this blog.

So, the next time you have a complaint or some stress you think is keeping you from . . . anything . . . check. It might be merely the next step in following your spiritual calling.

Love, Ann

Shampoo Series – “In my defenselessness my safety lies.” Lesson 153, A Course in Miracles

There is no incompatibility between me and Paul that total defenselessness wouldn’t solve. That may be true with everyone, of course. There is only One of us here.

“Defenselessness is strength. It testifies to recognition of the Christ in you. Perhaps you will recall the text maintains that choice is always made between Christ’s strength and your own weakness, seen apart from Him. Defenselessness can never be attacked, because it recognizes strength so great attack is folly, or a silly game a tired child might play, when he becomes too sleepy to remember what he wants.

Defensiveness is weakness. It proclaims you have denied the Christ and come to fear His Father’s anger. What can save you now from your delusion of an angry god, whose fearful image you believe you see at work in all the evils of the world? What but illusions could defend you now, when it is but illusions that you fight?”

The full text of this lesson is found here:

 http://miraclevision.com/acim/wbk/pc/workbook153-1.html

 The terminology of A Course in Miracles is very Christian. I like that.

Katie says, “Defense is the first attack.” 

Can you find that?

Think of 3 ways you can prove that thought from your own experience and understanding.

Love, Ann

“Peace in our minds and in our lives is a cause-effect relationship.”

                                               – Ann O’Johnson

5 Minutes to Deep Peace on Thursday 9/13

You will be entertained at the very least and enlightenment is an option.

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310

Thursday, 9/13, there is a teleconference call where you can learn more about this. There will be sample meditations and a chance at a free gift worth $400.

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310 

Trust me. You want to try this. The IAM Meditations are the product of the fertile mind of Steven Sashen who is also responsible for much of the Shampoo Method we talk about here every day.

It’s completely safe. I’d trust this guy with my life.

This feeling, this is what we have all been looking for our whole lives. It’s like coming home.

Love, Ann  

Shampoo Series – Handling Criticism

Say I told you that you were a 500 pound green alien?

Would that bother you? No.

You don’t believe you are a 500 pound green alien. You don’t even think they exist.

But if I told you that you were too fat or too dumb or a failure or whatever your own pet insecurity is, yes, it would bother you a lot.

It would also bother you if you thought I was fat or dumb or a failure, but I’m sure you could care less if I were a 500 pound green alien, other than you might want to capture, study or talk to me.

Why?

Because you believe it of yourself.

And you don’t like it.

In other words, you agree!!!

And you don’t like that in yourself.

Do you see the way out?

Would you like to reduce the stress and enjoy it the next time someone criticizes you/agrees with you?

Try saying this: 

“I can see that. What do you suggest?”

Try it. See what happens. 

Many thanks and much love to Steven Sashen who taught me this much truer perspective on annoyance.

Love, Ann