5 Minutes to Deep Peace on Thursday 9/13

You will be entertained at the very least and enlightenment is an option.

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310

Thursday, 9/13, there is a teleconference call where you can learn more about this. There will be sample meditations and a chance at a free gift worth $400.

http://advancedmeditation.com/cmd.php?Clk=2095310 

Trust me. You want to try this. The IAM Meditations are the product of the fertile mind of Steven Sashen who is also responsible for much of the Shampoo Method we talk about here every day.

It’s completely safe. I’d trust this guy with my life.

This feeling, this is what we have all been looking for our whole lives. It’s like coming home.

Love, Ann  

Oh Goddess! It’s Beltane. Don’t! Stop! Don’t stop!

The Moon is in Sagittarius, too, which conjuncts 5 points in my chart. Wow.

So far, I’ve sent at least 50 people off to make bouncy bouncy in honor of Beltane, not to mention all the email lists I’ve posted to. I’ve tentatively offered my body to 3 or 4 people and I’m wondering whether this will be a solo or duo or um… group holy day for me. There’s a poly Beltane celebration that I might go to. I would be participating in group tantric breathing

I don’t know yet. And Eric Francis www.planetwaves.net and Jonathan Cainer www.cainer.com are both telling Sagitarians to trust. We seem like the trusting types, don’t we? But we’ve had some serious Pluto knocks for over a decade now and we just aren’t sure what is going on. I’ve had some Neptune and Uranus transits, too, still do, so God only knows. Isn’t that always the case?

Anyway, what I thought I’d do today is post some poetry and song lyrics in the spirit of the day. How’s that?

Okay. Nine Inch Nails, anyone?

Closer

You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me Ive got no
Soul to tell
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get
Away from myself
I want to f**k you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to f**k you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god
You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that
It brings
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my
Everything
Help me tear down my reason, help me its your sex i
Can smell
Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody
Else
I want to f**k you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to f**k you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god
Through every forest, above the trees
Within my stomach, scraped off my knees
I drink the honey inside your hive
You are the reason I stay alive

and how about . . .

 WITH NO SIN

         – TingZen, Impossible Objects
Licking your soul
Protective hairs lying flat
Your hands held back in ecstacy
A sensual arch in your back
A yearning for everything
A world held with no sin
Our innocence is blessed
A gift that comes when least expected

With no sin
We lie in innocence
With no sin
We bask in blessedness
With no sin
We lie in innocence
With no sin

When science and art
No longer split apart
Then we can accept these gifts
That are meant for us
The long road coalescing
In a constellation bright
With reason and the unexpected

The final outcome
Greater than all the dreams
Sin absorbed in maturity
Innocence is redeemed

Love, Ann

“Cha robh dithis riamh a’ fadadh teine nach do las eatarra.”

“Two do not kindle a fire between them, but it ignites itself.”

One Woman’s Beltane

“All women are she,”
Mykonos once told me.

“Treat each woman as the Goddess,
because she is.

Women are built to reveal openness –
they are nature’s mechanism of surrender –
and they wait for a man they could trust
with their utterly surrendered heart.

Few women ever meet such a man,
so most women suffer terribly, longing their entire lives.”

– David Deida, Wild Nights

Some of yesterday’s quotes, being from David Deida’s Wild Nights, were from the masculine perspective. You know, I appreciate what Deida says to men and I want any man that I’m involved with to know those experiences from the inside, and understand what it is to pierce and penetrate my heart (not just my pussy).

Today I want to think about this from my feminine perspective, though. For that Deida wrote Dear Lover and his books for both genders include some great ideas, as well.

From what I read, from a man’s perspective, the fear is of being engulfed, swallowed or smothered by a woman. But from a women’s perspective, my fear is of being pierced, penetrated, or wounded by a man.

Very biologically correct, hmm?

Both genders fear surrender to God, letting go, dying into God’s bliss, being lived and breathed by Spirit.

Deida refers to the “Him shaped space” that most feminine women have.

I know exactly what he is talking about.

I do long to be filled. There is space for a man inside me and I want that.

My roommate is surprised when I fold her sheets and wash blankets  for her, put away dishes and boils water for her tea for her before she wakes up. I explained to her that my nurturing energy has to go somewhere and until He comes along, she is elected recipient of some of that.

It feels hard to hold that space open, not try to fill it with whoever and whatever shows up next.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.

– Richard Bach, Illusions

Naturally, I have opportunities to do that and I long to be filled.

Sometimes that is the healthy, kind thing to do for myself. It seems very stressful to me to wait, to hold that emptiness. Well, so it seems. Chances are good that it is my thoughts about holding that space that are actually the stressful part. I’m looking for those, checking them when I find them (often in my blog writing, thanks guys) and finding that Whole Place beyond peace/stress, right/wrong, empty/full as much as I can.

That’s the same temptation, for me, to surrender to Swami Vishwananda. I imagine that he can fill that space fairly well as a spiritual partner, without sex, without a traditional relationship. I was trying to explain that yesterday to Taylor. Taylor has no experience with the California type spiritual path of gurus, chanting, meditation, etc. although he’s lived here all his life. It’s a foreign world to him.

At the same time, I can feel his search. Taylor ran across me, so I figure he must be open to hearing some of this. Every man I meet seems to be. I talk with them, send them to the blog, to web sites, books, whatever comes up. Some of them hang around to become friends. Some don’t.

I’ve been doing Steven’s Goal-Free Goal Setting meditation nearly every day for a month now. I think I missed one day. And for nearly 30 days, the Goal is the same, maybe a slightly different aspect of it, but it’s the same.

About 4 or 5 times in each meditation, the instructions say, “Now, check and see if you still want that goal. Maybe yes, maybe no. Either way. See how wanting is different now.”

I do. And it is.

Yes, I still want to be married to a man who can fuck me straight to God.

With or without sex, by the way.

Yes, I can do that myself. Can and do.

And when I check, I still want a man to penetrate me, take me, teach with me, talk with me, sing with me, make love with me. Make love in our home, in our community, in our world, through opening to each other, through teaching, writing, singing, traveling.

I started to write that the picture gets clearer every day. At the same time it gets more open and more vague. There’s more space, too. Does that make sense? Can you feel what that would mean? (If not, try Goal-Goal Setting for 30 days and I’m pretty sure you’ll have some kind of similar experience. It’s one of the IAM meditations, the last one, because it includes several others.)

I’ll be teaching Goal-Free Goal Setting to a class in a government office in a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to that and I’d love to do more of it.

I just keep doing what I do, being who I am, and in the process I am bound to meet a man who’s doing some of the same stuff and looking for a woman to play with him.

I want to say that I have a little trouble with where Deida’s writing seems to come from. He talks about yearning, which is wanting, which is stressful. It puts me in a pretty nasty place, very masculine, going out to hunt for what I want. When I don’t find it, I feel stressed, angry, tense. 

That isn’t the clarity I’ve learned from IAM meditations and Quantum . . . well, Steven teaches Quantum Wealth, but I tend to take Quantum Relationships by my own personal focus during the class.  

The last few days I’ve had a very clear sense that this man is already inside me.

Literally.

Think about it.

My definition of God is “the whole that is greater than the sum of the parts.” It is like Matthew Fox’s panentheism – God in all things. Or Steven Sashen’s “All That Is.” (The title of one of his best IAM meditations.)

If I am part of that Whole, and what else is there?

By definition, that’s All There Is.

So, He is part of that, too, and we are already part of each other. All that remains is to look into each other’s eyes and find what we already know.

Well, that’s my Beltane fire. I think it’s time to have some chocolate coffee.

Love, Ann

“Look with your understanding.
Find out what you already know.
And you’ll see the way to fly.”

– Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Shampoo Series – TMI aka Pearls Before Swine or Scholar Imprinting

This is a tough one for me.

This is about who I am and how I give my gifts to the world – the tough part is about whether I’m clear and whether or not my gifts are received by others.

In Higher Alignment terms my Creative Energy is called “Priest Scholar.” My Pacing is 65-70. My Process is Think-Feel-Act. And my Defense Style is Dynamic/Pioneering.

What does that mean?

I live to inspire others with my information and presence. That’s Priest Scholar.

I give and receive information pretty quickly. Not as quickly as say, Jim Carey, but not as slowly as W.C. Fields. That’s Pacing. How quickly we take in new information. (Einstein was a 30 Pace.)

I have thoughts and words almost immediately, then I hang out in my feelings, checking it out. When I’ve got that processed, I can act. Or, if I can do some acting, even a walk (or typing this blog), I can complete a process. That’s Think-Feel-Act.

Under stress, I have a tendency to want to organize, control & inform others so that I feel safe. But not always. Sometimes I’m not so triggered and I might choose to take care of others or the relationship. That’s Dynamic/Pioneering Defense Style.

(See the links at the right for much more detailed information on all of the archtypes and 14 compatibility factors for details about what all of that means.)

Well, what does all of that have to do with anything?

I wish I knew you, knew your Creative Energy, Pacing, Process & Defense Style, so that I could speak to that. Maybe make a comparison, but there are a few million possible combinations of all 14 factors. So, I’ll be the example, the guinea pig and if you want to know more go to www.higheralignment.com and contact someone, send them a photograph of yourself and find out about your own Profile. It’s fascinating stuff.

Most of the United States, Asia and England have a lot of Scholar Imprinting both from the culture and from parents and teachers.

What does that mean?  

It means we were expected to live up to certain standards in our ability to take in and value information, standards that are not natural to a large number of people who have no Scholar as part of their Creative Energy. Imprinting is the same term coined by Konrad Lorenz. It means that we are raised to be like our parents, whether or not we are the same Creative Energy as they are, and usually we are not. Larry Byram of Higher Alignment says Imprinting happens most in the first 6 months of life.

If you are any combination of the other 6 Creative Energies:  Artisan, Priest, Server, King, Warrior or Sage, then someone like myself, especially with a Scholar Secondary, which is a bit of work even for me, may trigger you sometimes with what everyone now calls TMI “too much information.” From my side, it feels like I am casting my pearls before swine.

This just indicates healing is possible from both the sides. And A Course in Miracles suggests that “whoever is saner at the time” ask for guidance and healing. It doesn’t matter who asks.

A Sage might be somewhat of an exception. They are not as likely to be overwhelmed because they are the word guys, but they will be annoyed because the information isn’t humorous.  A Warrior might manage the efficiency to deal with it, but feel that it was not efficiently given. Etcetera through all the other types. Most won’t take kindly to it. It’s either Snoozeville or Trigger City. 

I suspect that Priest Artisans and Artisan Priests have the toughest time with all that info. They are all about the inspiration, but not the information, so they try and don’t understand why it’s so hard. The Artisan in them may try to embrace the differences.

But Imprinting often causes us to rebel against the Imprint.

Me, I’m Artisan Imprinted. My mother is an Artisan Scholar. My father is a Sage Artisan.

Fortunately, I’ve done some  healing with this. Variety used to trigger the daylights out of me. Hated it. Don’t give me 16 ways to do something when I can’t even do one! Now, I’m not so reactive about it. Often I recognize what is happening and simply stay with who I am and what I do best without feeling like I have to deny other people their reality. It’s fine for them to revel in variety. I just don’t. No big deal.

You may have noticed that my parent’s Creative Energy includes Mother’s Scholar secondary, which yes, Imprinted my own Scholar secondary. My father’s Sage primary is the other Imprinting.

It is pertinent that I had to struggle to come to terms with my own information, Priest Scholar information, in the presence of my mother’s Artisan Scholar information. I am sometimes doubly defended there, something that has gotten much better over the past 7 years of practicing The Work of Byron Katie and other ideas I discuss here.

There is a reason that The Work of Byron Katie is the crux of healing our Defense Style in the Institute for Spiritual Partnership (ISP) classes, though there are certainly many ways to heal.

When we are really comfortable with who we are creatively or “what is,” we find it much easier not to be thrown off center by someone who is different from ourselves. And when I am comfortable with who I am, my inspiration and information is more creatively given, less likely to trigger others.

Worldview is pertinent here. As we heal past our Relationship Lessons into Inner Success, it matters less and less what others present us with because we are more and more healed and comfortable inside. (See the Worldview chart link on the right.)

Why is it easier when we accept “what is?” 

We are not trying to be someone we’re not.

We are not wanting the other person to change, either.

Much more peaceful that way. More mutuality. More intimacy is available to both of us. We feel safe. We feel heard and seen and known for our best gifts and we give that gift to one another.

How do we get there?

One way is to use the Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet on the link to the right.

Write out your most negative, nasty, petty, mean, judgmental thoughts about those you are uncomfortable with. This means anyone who triggers you, exhausts you, tries your patience, anyone you avoid or distance in order to feel okay. Anyone you have not forgiven 100%. Anyone you couldn’t spend 24 perfectly comfortable happy hours in a closed room with.

You get the idea.

Family, friends, lovers, co-workers, business partners, ministers, public figures are all fair game.

We want to get into our “worst” judments – everything we are so embarrassed or ashamed to have thought that we barely admit, even to ourselves, that we ever had that thought. Those are the ones.

That is really where the juiciest healing comes from.

Not from pretending we don’t have those judgments, which is what most of us do most of the time. We live in that famous river in Egypt – denial.

There is a reason we were told, “Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” (Jesus said that.)

It will. It does.

But first we have to look at where we are lying.

Love, Ann

“Reality is kinder than your thinking – but only always.”

                                       – Byron Katie

Kirtan is Indian Jazz!

Live kirtan in the US is jazz.

Go listen to anyone live and you’ll see what I mean: Krishna Das, Dave Stringer, Shim Shai, Tina Malia, Scott Medina, Deva Premal, Miten… if you have heard any one of them, you know what I am talking about. I’ve heard all of them live and I own recordings by all of them.

Yes, there’s repetition, which soothes my Priest Scholar soul, but there is also improvisation in live performance. Every time. It’s never the same twice.

Instead of saxophones and whatever, kirtan has a harmonium and tabla. Of course, there is definitely a trumpet player in our local kirtan group, and I’ve seen a pretty wide variety of instruments, including electric guitars, played for kirtan.

Sonofabiscuit-lover… kirtan as I learned it in the US is jazz, at least when it’s live.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirtan

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhajan

Both articles mention that “While most Hindus and Sikhs devoutly sing Kirtan in its more traditional form, there are smaller groups that experiment with incorporation of non-Indian instruments like the guitar and interspersing Western themes like jazz into the fold.”

I get pretty blissed out on the stuff. I’m sure I look like I’m having sex as I sit cross-legged, swaying, my back arched, eyes closed and hands raised singing my heart out.

Hey, you’ve got your Jazz in my Kirtan!  No, you’ve got my Kirtan in your Jazz!

Love, Ann

My analyst told me
That I was right out of my head
The way he described it
He said Id be better dead than live
I didnt listen to his jive
I knew all along
That he was all wrong
And I knew that he thought
I was crazy but Im not
Oh no

My analyst told me
That I was right out of my head
He said Id need treatment
But Im not that easily led
He said I was the type
That was most inclined
When out of his sight
To be out of my mind
And he thought I was nuts
No more ifs or ands or buts

They say as a child
I appeared a little bit wild
With all my crazy ideas
But I knew what was happening
I knew I was a genius…
Whats so strange when you know
That youre a wizard at three
I knew that this was meant to be

Now I heard little children
Were supposed to sleep tight
Thats why I got into the vodka one night
My parents got frantic
Didnt know what to do
But I saw some crazy scenes
Before I came to
Now do you think I was crazy
I may have been only three
But I was swinging

They all laugh at angry young men
They all laugh at edison
And also at einstein
So why should I feel sorry
If they just couldnt understand
The idiomatic logic
That went on in my head
I had a brain
It was insane
Oh they used to laugh at me
When I refused to ride
On all those double decker buses
All because there was no driver on the top

My analyst told me
That I was right out of my head
But I said dear doctor
I think that its you instead
Because I have got a thing
Thats unique and new
To prove it Ill have
The last laugh on you
cause instead of one head
I got two
And you know two heads are better than one.

Performed by Joni Mitchell 

Author?