Do you have a no tears formula?
I don’t.
Looks like the first topic for the Shampoo Series is Crying.
Here are some thoughts I have had about crying.
This is much like the One-Belief-At-A-Time Worksheet (formerly called Self-Facilitation Worksheet) from The Work of Byron Katie.
There are more questions on the Worksheet, www.thework.org I will be using some of them here.
I cry too much.
I shouldn’t cry.
Laughing and crying are the same release.
I never cry for just one reason.
No one understands my crying.
No one understands me when I cry.
I cry after sex when I can’t stay in that relationship.
Sex with someone I can’t stay with highlights our disconnect, so I cry.
I am abstaining from sex so I don’t cry.
Hormones make me cry once a month before my period.
It is hard for others to be around me when I cry.
Everyone in this office is crying today.
I shouldn’t cry at work.
I shouldn’t cry in public.
Full Moons make people cry.
People cry more at the Full Moon.
I cry when I am frustrated.
I cry when I am lonely.
I cry when I feel disconnected.
I cry when I connect.
That pretty much covers it. A couple of them have more than one part.
The Four Questions & The Turn Around
1. Is it true? (wait for an answer to arise)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react (or live) when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
Turn it around. (To self, other, my thinking or an opposite)
Yes, I’m going to write out my own personal Work on all of those thoughts I have had. I will not be repeating the questions. I will just answer them in order. I think you’ll be able to follow it.
I’ll take the first ones slower and more thoroughly than the later ones. You will notice, listening to me or anyone facilitate The Work for someone else, that sometimes, when we’ve kind of processed enough, we just go right to the Turn Arounds.
We’ll see what happens here.
I cry too much. (waiting for the answer to arise)
Is it true? No.
Can I absolutely know that it’s true? No.
How do I react when I believe I cry too much?
I try to stop, try to suppress it, tense up, avoid situations where I’m likely to cry, refuse to answer people who ask why I’m crying, brush them off, hide in my room, wipe them away.
Who would I be without the thought, “I cry too much?”
Just someone crying, calmer, peaceful.
Turn it around. (self, other or opposite)
I cry too little.
Prove this – 3 ways.
1. Well, if I’m supressing it, I am crying too little.
2. I avoid weddings, funerals & graduations to avoid crying. So, I’m crying too little by not going.
3. Even when I do cry, I don’t always give it my full attention and let myself just sob like I want to. (Though I love it when I do.)
Another Turn Around that is at least as true or truer?
I laugh too much.
Rut roh. That’s kind of funny. Crying is the opposite of laughing. Some people probably think I laugh too much. I know I laugh at what are considered “the wrong things” sometimes. Yep, I can prove that turn around.
Metaphors can be turn arounds.
I don’t cry enough - metaphorically… as in cry out….I certainly suppress that.
Proofs:
1. I almost never scream. Sometimes I want to.
2. I suppress screaming just like crying. (even during sex sometimes)
3. I don’t raise objections – cry out – when I want to sometimes.
Any other Turn Arounds?
I cry enough.
Well, it’s what I do. It’s Reality however much I do cry, so it mush be enough.
What were your answers?
Here’s the next one:
I shouldn’t cry.
Is that true? No.
Can I absolutely know that’s true that I shouldn’t cry, when I obviously do cry? No, clearly not. Reality is that I cry.
How do I react when I believe this thought, “I shouldn’t cry.”
Pretty much the same as above. I try to suppress it. Avoid situations where I’d cry. Probably missed some beautiful weddings, funerals and graduations, including my own. (Katie would say, “I’d take out the probably.”)
Who would I be without the thought, “I shouldn’t cry.”
Again, just someone crying, releasing, being honest about my feelings. Nothing wrong with that. Relaxing, peaceful, letting go, letting feelings come up.
Turn it around.
I should cry.
That’s pretty obvious. I do.
I shouldn’t laugh.
Hmm, maybe sometimes. If it’s false laughter, not genuine, that is certainly true.
Anyone want to help me out here? Can you see any other turn arounds that are at least as true or truer?
I’ll continue this, but I want to get this part up now.
Love, Ann
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.”
– Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
