Gratitude is a spiritual practice.
Practice. Meaning we have to keep practicing. We have no finished product, really. It’s just what we do to . . . well, practice.
Several years ago it occured to me that I was doing something different from other people with my history. That while many of us were holding on, being pissed, being scared, and I certainly have times like that myself. I was finding that I was *really* grateful for all that has happened in my life.
I could make a list a mile long of things that I’ve experienced and enjoyed that seem to be directly related to how I was raised. And how I was raised includes incest.
Sometimes it’s hard to explain this to people. Sometimes they get it immediately. I never know. But as I started talking about it, more and more people started telling me things like, “You’ve got to write a book. Other people will want to hear this.”
I’m not opposed to writing a book. I do write. I love to write. But how was I going to explain to anyone, in any way someone else could understand, why I’m grateful for incest in my life and how that doesn’t at all mean that I’m condoning the behavior?
I started practicing by telling people. I’m pretty out there about it. I’ll tell a total stranger about my healing and incest history, on very little information. Once, I was at Dances of Universal Peace and we were doing an introduction exercise. I don’t remember what they told us to do. Oh wait, yes, I do. We were told to tell the other person our name and then tell them how we feel about it.
So, I told a man my name, Ann. I told him that I have always loved my name. Lots of people change their names. I’ve got friends who cannot stand to hear the name their parents called them. It upsets them. So they change it. I never felt that way.
I’ve got a friend from Missouri who changed his name just by changing how it was pronounced. That’s one way to do it.
So, this man who was paired with me for introductions told me his name was Eric. He had changed his name! Uh oh. I said I hoped I hadn’t offended him. He said, “No, I understand, but I changed my name to take my power back. I’m an incest survivor and my new name is a symbol of my healing.”
Well, that was a horse of a different color!
The next thing you know, Eric and I are sharing our healing stories about incest. I’ve started meeting more and more people who are recognizing how having incest in their history has led them to more inner truth and personal power than they can explain to most people.
I get it. Me, too.
What about you?
